The Perks of Paying Attention at Open Enrollment

Sometimes, I wish there were a manual for being a grown-up. It would work like this: each year on your birthday, a letter would show up detailing all of the things you will need to take care of that year (taxes, auto renewals, insurance). It would give you specific instructions on how to accomplish everything on the list without running into any snags.

I guess if that were the case, we wouldn't have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes? And that's something I know all about!

The year that we were expecting Addie, our health insurance situation changed four times. Before that, I had no understanding of our health benefits or options, because we had always just made a quick choice and selected the plan that seemed the best. Once we were hit with so many changes in such a short time - while incurring medical bills since I was pregnant - I learned that it was important to actually put some time into figuring out which opens were best for us.

Was it a walk in the park making a health insurance coverage decision while being full-term in my pregnancy and also chasing a toddler around all day? Not necessarily - but it was worth it.

Our little family - right around the time of open enrollment in 2012!

We haven't had an insurance change in almost two years now, but I try to review our options before open enrollment comes around each year, to ensure that we are still making the best choice.

When we chose our health insurance plan through Andrew's employer, we were also given the opportunity to purchase dental insurance for our family. At first, I scoffed at getting a family dental plan - because our kids were so young, would they really need the coverage? I spent some time researching the options and found that it was not a great cost to have the additional benefit added. It turned out to be a very good thing that I had read it thoroughly, because we ended up absolutely needing that coverage for Addie's teeth earlier this year.

This baby gave me no indication that just over a year later, she would need oral surgery.

For close to six decades, Aflac has been committed to providing insurance policies that give policyholders the opportunity to focus on recovery, not financial stress. Worrying about insurance coverage should not be something to add on to a medical emergency - or even a routine procedure!

Aflac conducted an Open Enrollment survey this year and found that 41 percent of employees spent fifteen minutes or less researching their benefit options during the 2013 open enrollment season. I'm sure we can all think of another big purchase that we would never dedicate as little decision-making time to - like a car, a computer, or even a vacation. Most workers also have no idea what is covered by their insurance plan - I have been guilty of that multiple times. You can read more about the open enrollment survey in this year's Aflac WorkForces Report.

We've made a family decision to be on top of our insurance this year and have already started talking about our options - with open enrollment just around the corner, it's definitely not too early to start a discussion and review what your policy covers! When you're reviewing health insurance options, make sure that you take the time to look up things you don't understand - I was so confused when I first tried to wrap my head around deductibles, out-of-pocket expenses, coinsurance, and other similar terms. It took me awhile, but I think I understand it now - and that makes for far less stress!

Have you ever made a poor choice at open enrollment that you regretted throughout the year? Take the time to be prepared this year - and you can consider this note from me your "grown-up manual" entry of the day.

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

OBaby App - for the Cutest Ever Pregnancy & Baby Photo Edits

Disclosure: I received the app highlighted below free of charge for review purposes. No other compensation was received and all opinions expressed are my own. If you purchase the app through my affiliate link at the end of the post, I'll receive a small commission. Thanks for supporting my blog and my family!

You guys? I hated being pregnant.

Really, I did. I know that I am blessed to be able to carry babies and am truly, truly thankful - and would not trade my pregnancies for anything. HOWEVER. Being sick to the point of collapsing almost around the clock for over thirty weeks of one's life is just not pleasant, regardless of how awesome the miracle inside my belly was. This is not a complaint - it's real life.

The point is - when you're sick all the time and taking care of a toddler, you need something fun to occupy the moments when you're laid up on the couch. I wish I had had OBaby back when I was pregnant with Addie!

One of the things I do enjoy about pregnancy is taking weekly photos of the bump's progress, so that later I can go back and watch how quickly those babies grew! OBaby is the perfect app for a pregnant mama. It's a photo editing app that allows you to drop pre-made graphics onto your photos and customize them with colors as you please.

And it's so fun!

I still haven't printed any photos from my pregnancy with Addie (shown here - these are NOT current photos, I am not pregnant!), so I'm having a blast going through my weekly bumpdate photos to tweak them a little bit and add some quirky little doodles and sayings.

Don't be deceived into thinking OBaby is only good for pregnant mamas, though - there's a huge wealth of designs to be used on photos from labor, birth, baby's first and second years, milestones, and much more.

It's seriously FUN to peek through all the designs to pick out something for each new photo. Also, someone please hold my ovaries right now because these newborn photos are killing me.

If you haven't given OBaby a try and you want some fun unique looks for your photos - by all means, do it! It's so much fun!

Find out more on OBaby's site or download the iOS App here.

Disclosure: I received the app highlighted in this story free of charge for review purposes. No other compensation was received and all opinions expressed are my own.

Motherhood and Setting New Expectations

When I found out I was pregnant, I expected to have a breezy pregnancy and a healthy glow - with a heaping side of productivity.

I quit my full time job when my baby was two months old, and I assumed that there would be hours of crafts and games with my children, and long nap times in which I could rest and rejuvenate (and work from home).

When my second baby arrived, I said to myself, "how much harder can it be? They will be such good friends."

If you haven't yet guessed - none of those things ended up being completely true. Pregnancy knocked me flat on my back. Working from home is stressful at best, when you are trying to care for and entertain small people. And tiny siblings can be great friends - but they also require a lot of mommy interventions because naturally there is only one toy that is worthy of being played with at any given time.

And today, as I sit nursing that second baby - who doesn't sleep on her own - while my oldest is being brainwashed occupied by the Scooby-Doo complete series box set, I feel frustrated that it's 4:30pm and not enough things have been crossed off my to-do list.

My to-do list is ever increasing, but so are the needs of my children. My spare time is not spent sewing dresses or editing videos or writing scripts or blog posts as I had imagined in my fantasy stay-at-home-mom scenario. Instead, I spend my days taking someone potty for the 15th time since noon or breaking up squabbles over a plastic muffin or pulling someone down off the kitchen table again.

It turns out that being a good mom has very little to do with how many craft projects you can do in a day, but a whole lot to do with how many kisses you can give for the same boo-boo in an hour. It's less about planning educational activities and more about accepting that it's really okay for your kids to sometimes watch a movie while you take a shower.

I struggle with finding a balance and often end the day thinking that I have failed my kids. I need to not worry so much about email and be more concerned with fort-building. There will be time to fill my Etsy shop after the days of being a little firefighter's assistant are long past. I need to be present for my kids 100% of the time - and they deserve more than a half-hearted smile when I am met with reading that super annoying book one more time.

I need to be constantly aware that my expectations cannot be the same as they were before these precious little lives depended upon me. Their thoughts, fears, and feelings need to be first priority right now, even if that means setting aside some of the things that are important to me.

Motherhood and making realistic expectations - it's a fine line to balance. What are your tips for making the most of every moment with your littles, even in the overwhelming moments?

Thirty by 30: A List of Goals

Two days ago, I turned 27 1/2. And I decided, it's about time that I publish my 30 by 30 Goal List.

Have you heard of this trend? It's like a bucket list of things to achieve before you reach a certain age. The first time I saw a 30 by 30 list, I found it kind of silly - but the more I thought about it, I really really like it.

I'm the sort of person who makes a lot of plans, but I need a strategy to see them through. I do my best work at the eleventh hour, which means if I don't have a deadline, it may not get done. So having a tangible list to report back to from time to time? That's the sort of thing I need.

So here they are, in no particular order. Thirty things I want to accomplish by my 30th birthday! Some of them are silly, but some of them are serious. All of them are things I really do want to do in the next couple of years. Bonus: I wrote this list months ago, and have actually already crossed off a couple things! Yay! I'll keep updating the list as things are completed!

My 30 by 30 Goals.

-Take a dance class.

-Grow a garden.

-Take the kids to Disney World.

-Buy (and learn to use) a serger.

-Read the Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter again.

-Done. Open Etsy Shop.

-Visit 2 states I've never been to.

-Eat all the BBQ. I've lived in KC my entire life and have only ever eaten at one of our many famous BBQ joints.

-Read The Silver Linings Playbook, The Boy on the Porch, The Fault in Our Stars, and Night of January 16. I told my librarian husband that he could pick some books for me to read - these are his choices.

-Done. Make my own bread. I did this...and then my bread machine died three days later. New birthday wishlist item: bread machine.

-Attend the Plaza holiday lighting ceremony.

-Watch all Disney animated movies in release order.

-Blog - Reach 20K unique visits/month. Feel free to help me get there!

-Have an article published in a magazine (other than my ongoing review column).

-Sew an incredible Belle dress for Addie.

-Clean out my scrapbook room and donate some supplies.

-Catch  up on yearly Project Life.

-Pay off credit cards.

-Reach 100 Etsy sales.

-Attend a blog conference.

-Find a church we love.

-Blog the 30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me series.

-Perform in a theatre show. I miss the stage.

-Direct a dream theatre show.

-Write a complete work of fiction. This is crazy talk, but...maybe.

-Memorize the order of presidents. So my history-major husband is not mortified at me when I start homeschooling.

-Read the Bible completely. I've done it before, but it's been awhile.

-Have another baby. I might be crazy!

-Host a BIG playdate with tons of friends.

-Start an adoption fund.


Did you make a 30 by 30 list? What would your list look like compared to mine?

Thoughts on Nursing an (almost) Three Year Old Toddler

Why yes. My toddler does still breastfeed. His birthday is in February and at the rate we are going, I am pretty sure I will be nursing a three year old.

I definitely didn't intend for this to happen. We had a lot of breastfeeding problems when we started out and I honestly didn't expect to make it through the first week. So if you had told me that three years later, I would still be nursing this little boy several times a day, I would probably have laughed in your face. Or perhaps cried. It was an emotional time of my life.

So, if it wasn't my intention, maybe you wonder how it happened? It's really simple - one day at a time. I have never picked a day to start weaning him, so his breastfeeding has decreased at his own pace. As he becomes more interested in other things and more foods, he needs me less. I don't typically advertise the fact that he still nurses, though if someone asks me, I'm not ashamed. It's mostly considered a private family decision and will stay that way (except for here - where in complete contrast I'm talking about it openly to the entire world. HA!).

Breastfeeding a toddler is...interesting. It's no secret that there are amazing benefits to nursing an  older child such as increased brain development, mental and social development and nourishment at times when he may not otherwise eat (like when he was unexpectedly sick on vacation). Then there are the moments when I think "I'm really still doing this?" as he flips upside down and kicks me in the stomach all in the name of nursing.

Lincoln, for about the past year, has called his nursing sessions "dee." Never milk, never milkies, never anything else - until very recently, when he overhears me asking Addie to come nurse. That usually elicits an "INKY NURSE TOOOO!" It's actually nice that he has an alternate word, because it makes things less awkward when we're at Target and he's shouting "Dee! Dee NOW!!!"

I don't know what my goal is for his nursing anymore. It started as one year, then eighteen months (or, to just survive pregnancy), then two years...and now, I just don't really know how I feel.

I've started setting some limits. An almost three-year-old does NOT need to nurse as often as his baby sister. He seems to only really think of breastfeeding when he is bored or tired. But it's cold outside, which means we aren't leaving the house much - which equals a lot of boredom. Generally speaking, he is at about 3-4 nursing sessions a day right now: morning, bedtime, and a couple times in between. It depends on the day - sometimes he asks only once or twice and sometimes he asks all day long. I've been telling him no if he asks just before a meal or just for the sake of boredom. He's usually not pleased about it, but can be distracted.

Some days I think to myself, this is IT. No more dealing with toddler teeth and hands down my shirt or poking my belly button. But, usually when I start to feel this way, I come to the realization that in the grand scheme? Three years is not such a very long time. So we'll forge on. For how long, I'm not sure. Maybe he'll decide to stop tomorrow. Or maybe he'll be almost four.

A part of me never wants to reach the day that he stops. There aren't many baby characteristics left in him, my lively wild boy. And I don't want to tell this last one goodbye.

Disney Challenge Day 18: Favorite Happy Ending

The concept of happy endings is something that has been perpetuated by Disney for years - they know how to put together a story that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you reach the end.  It's safe to say that I'm a huge fan of most of Disney's endings.

(Source)

If I didn't have kids, I don't know if this movie would even be on my radar.  I can chalk it up to last year's pregnancy hormones - but I have cried multiple times when Winnie the Pooh gets his giant pot of honey and walks off into the sunset with Christopher Robin.  I've been a fan of Pooh since I was Lincoln's age, but watching my little boy be enthralled with Pooh's eternal quest for honey makes my heart melt - every single time.

There's just something sweet about a little boy and his little bear.  And when you have your own sweet little boy, you can see how these precious moments of childhood are fleeting.  Here's to savoring every walk into the sunset with Pooh bear (or whatever other lovey your child favors).

Make sure you follow along on the Chameleon Girls Facebook page and the Disney 30 Day Challenge Pinterest Board for each day's challenge!  Plus, you can read all of my favorites here on the blog!

Hello 2013.

I've seen a lot of bloggers posting lists of their most popular posts in 2012, and recaps of their family's year.  I haven't been consistent enough at blogging for the first idea - but a recap I can do.

This year has been a challenge for us.  Andrew's job situation changed four times between January and November.  This was a pretty unexpected set of changes and it threw us for a loop for awhile.  We're so grateful that he is now (finally) in a job that he is really enjoying.  It is a true blessing.

In February, we celebrated Lincoln's first birthday.  Looking through photos from this event makes me cry.  I cannot believe how much he has grown and changed since then.  I thought he was all grown up on his first birthday and now I can see he was a teeny tiny baby back then.  What on earth will I do when he's 18?

This spring, we learned that Baby #2 was on the way.  Thus began months of all-day morning sickness and Winnie the Pooh marathons.  In June we found out that it would be a princess joining our family.  So excited!

We traveled to New England for my little brother's wedding in mid-July.  This was Lincoln's first plane trip.  The flight to Boston went unimaginably well.  The flight home was imaginably awful.  The time in between was spent doing wedding festivities (Lincoln and I were both in the bridal party), hanging out with old friends, visiting the beach, and spending a day in Boston.  Lincoln alternated between the stroller and the Ergo carrier during this adventure.

Paul Revere's house in Boston.

The fall passed very slowly for me as I was growing more and more enormously pregnant.  We spent a lot of time having playdates and inventing new ways to entertain ourselves without mommy having to exert much effort.

Lincoln dressed as Link from the Legend of Zelda for Halloween.

I taught two semesters of drama classes (totaling 7 plays) this year.  I am hoping to have another session of classes in the spring, but have not figured out any logistics yet.  Coordinating this drama program with one baby was crazy...it might be insanity now.

In November, our sweet Adelaide Rose arrived!  Her arrival was insanely fast and my recovery has been a lot harder than I anticipated, due to my delivery complications.  She is the sweetest baby - she hardly ever cries and has just started smiling at us recently.  Lincoln calls her "baby" and gives her about twenty kisses daily.  Melts my heart.  She's been with us for six weeks now and things are starting to normalize a little bit.  Well - whatever normal means.  :)

And, we survived the holiday season with two kids under age two!

I'm not going to lie when I say I am glad we have reached the end of 2012.  There were a few weeks/months that I thought it might go on forever.  I am excited for a new year with new possibilities....and new memories to make with my precious little family.  Can't wait to see what lies ahead for all of us!

Why I Chose to Deliver at a Birth Center

If you had told me five years ago that I would elect to deliver a baby naturally, with no interventions or pain medication, in a setting other than a hospital, I would have laughed.  A lot.  As far as I knew, babies were born in hospitals.  And sometimes weird interesting people had babies at home.

When Lincoln was born, I used the OB recommended by my primary care doctor.  I faithfully went to all of my appointments, asked very few questions, and when it came time for birth, just went along for the ride.  This is perhaps not the best approach to something as big as birth, but I didn't know any better at the time.  I assumed that my team of providers at Lincoln's birth had my best interest at heart and didn't question their judgment, ever.

And here is what I got as a result:

1. My delivery doctor was a complete stranger, I met him when he came in to check my dilation.  That's always fun. 

2. I was strapped to a contraction monitor and forced to work through painful contractions while lying on my back.  I didn't know any better - but I would have been much more relaxed had I been allowed to move around.

3. I went into labor naturally and arrived at the hospital at 6pm on Saturday evening of a holiday weekend.  My labor was progressing very quickly and the baby was holding up just fine, yet my doctor recommended that we proceed with a vacuum delivery after about an hour of ineffective pushing.  Maybe I am wrong, but the timing of everything kind of made it seem like he had other places to be that weekend.

4.  To facilitate the vacuum delivery, I received an episiotomy.  I learned later that this makes a mom far more likely to tear in future deliveries, as the scar tissue must grow back from a direct incision rather than a natural tear.  Yay me.

5.  When Lincoln was born, it was probably half an hour before I was able to hold him.  I didn't know at the time that this could make it harder to bond with and breastfeed my baby.

6.  I got no rest in the hospital.  None.  Every time I thought I could fall asleep, someone would come in to check vitals on me or the baby.  If the baby happened to be sleeping, he would be awake then.  The one time that I actually managed to sleep, they had taken Lincoln for a routine hearing screening.  I woke up in the middle of the night, three hours later, to discover that my baby had never been returned to my room.  When I called the nurse, they told me this test took several hours.  I watched the test when Adelaide had it - it took five minutes.  So where was my baby for three hours the one time I slept?

7.  When I was having terrible problems breastfeeding when Lincoln was four days old, I called the hospital lactation consultant to try to find out if Lincoln had been given formula or a pacifier - he had a great latch at first and then seemed to forget.  She was incredibly rude and refused to look at his chart for me.  I said that I was concerned he was not eating and her response was "Well you have been home for two days.  If he is not nursing, WHAT are you feeding him?  He has to eat."  My response was silent crying.  Her response to that?  A huge huff and "Come to our breastfeeding support group next Monday.  I can look at you then."  This phone conversation happened on Thursday.  Sure, I'll just starve my baby for the next four days until your meeting.  No problem! 

Lincoln's Hospital Birth, February 2011.

In spite of all this, when I found out that Adelaide was on the way, I didn't plan a whole lot of changes.  Our insurance had changed and I hoped to deliver at a hospital that was closer to home, so I asked around and found a doctor who delivered there.  This hospital had a great track record for being breastfeeding-friendly, so I thought that was a good sign.  I assumed that since my labor with Lincoln was fast and I barely had time for an epidural, that I would likely be looking at giving birth unmedicated.  But I figured we would just address it when the time came.

I don't think there was any one specific thing that led me to feel I was not in the right place for my delivery.  My OB was nice, the staff was friendly.  I frequently had to wait an extremely long time for my appointments, but I assumed that was just part of the business - since everyone in the world seemed to be pregnant at the same time as me.

I guess at some point, I started thinking about the actual birth.  And the recovery.  I was really not excited about staying in the hospital for 2-3 days.  Lincoln was still nursing and had never spent the night away from us.  I was worried that having Mommy gone for several days was going to wreak havoc on his little system.  Adding a new baby was bad enough, but why introduce her after Mommy has been gone for days?  We also had another insurance change around this time, so I was looking at providers anyway.  When I was bemoaning the hospital stay to a friend, her response was "well have you looked at a birth center?"

I hadn't.  But that was all I needed to get started.  I did some googling.  I talked to some other friends.  I told Andrew that it was a possibility we were going to switch and we went to a tour of the birth center facility when I was about 30 weeks pregnant. 

And I loved it.

Everyone was friendly and smiling and helpful.  The birthing suites were beautiful.  I had the option of a water birth (something I had really never considered).  I would have appointments with all of the midwives who might be present at my delivery.  I would be allowed to labor in whatever position I wanted, with no attached contraction monitor.  I would be able to hold my baby immediately after she was born.  I would definitely not have a vacuum delivery except in a case of extreme emergency.  I would have tons of breastfeeding support. 

And best of all?  I would get to go HOME within 4-8 hours of birth.  No days of recovery time with constant poking and prodding at the hospital.  My baby would never leave my side and Lincoln would have Mommy home hopefully the same day.

It was perfect.  I was still a little worried about having no pain medication - but because of all the other wonderful aspects of the birth center, I almost didn't mind.  I switched providers at 30 weeks.  Since I transferred so late in the pregnancy, it was difficult to schedule everything appropriately so that I could meet all of the midwives on staff.  In fact, I met one of them three days before Adelaide's birth.

When Addie's birth day came, I could not have been more relieved at my choice.  We arrived at the birth center just two hours before her birth, but nothing was ever frantic.  The atmosphere was relaxed, yet exciting.  Even through all of my difficult recovery complications, the overall experience was above and beyond my expectations.  I didn't end up going home until 14 hours after Adelaide was born - but that was still much better than 2-3 days.

Adelaide's BIRTH Day Cake at the Birth Center, November 2012.

A birth center is such a great option for someone who is not comfortable with a hospital birth - and also not comfortable with a homebirth.  I know that I personally, after dealing with recovery problems after Adelaide's birth, will probably not ever consider a homebirth.  I had a pretty scary situation this time around, so I would prefer to always be somewhere with the necessary supplies to take care of any problems that may arise.  Of course, her delivery was so fast I am a little worried about having an unplanned unassisted homebirth (or car birth) with future child(ren).

If you've made it to the end of this, you get the most awesome reader award.  What's your experience?  Hospital?  Birth center?  Homebirth?  I would love to hear your thoughts!

Oh Boy... Mom Confessions

Hm.  I'm not sure how I feel about writing this post.  Do I really want to share my mom confessions with the whole big blogosphere?  I have to assume that someday when my kids are grown and gone, I will enjoy looking back at even things like this - so I will persevere and be maybe a little more honest than I want to be. ;)

I've spent most of my life dreaming about being a mommy.  In my perfect imaginary world, I was going to have thirteen beautiful children (yeah, not kidding), homeschool them all, bake cookies daily, sew adorable clothes for everyone for every occasion, and of course, do Pinterest-worthy crafts literally all the time.  That was the plan.

But here's the thing.  Being a mom is hard. 

I'm not having thirteen children.  While I do still want to have a large family, I realize that I could never give proper attention to that many babies.  More of a selfish reason though - I cannot be pregnant that many times.  We don't have a definite plan for how large our family will end up, but it's probably going to be directly related to my future pregnancies and their difficulties.  If they're anything like the first two...I'm not sure how many times I will want to go through everything again.

Pinterest, I have a memo for you.  Crafting takes work.  You have to pick a craft.  Gather the supplies.  If you happen to not have everything on hand (which, let's face it - you don't) - you have to drag everyone out to the craft store, where it's a miracle if your toddler doesn't break 17402 pieces of expensive glassware.  Plus, while your kids are under the age of two, pretty much all craft supplies are just treated like colorful snacks anyway.  Anybody else feel it's usually not worth the effort?

I have fabric to make the following projects: a superhero cape for Lincoln, a Christmas dress for Addie, a dolly for Addie, bright-colored blocks to match the nursery, yellow and blue fabric for curtains in the nursery, all of our Christmas stockings...I could go on, but you can probably see my point.  Instead of making the projects that I have meticulously planned, I run to the store on a whim to buy purple tulle to make a tutu for my impromptu homemade newborn photo shoot (will share how that went soon).

And I can't even tell you the last time I baked cookies.

Here are the things I'm not especially proud of at the moment:

- Meals are not very structured when I am home by myself with the kids.  Lincoln eats lunch as he runs around the living room, since I am usually nursing the baby.

- My house is a wreck most of the time and I don't care.  Or worse - sometimes I do care, but I still don't do anything about it.

- I think the last time I dusted was for Lincoln's first birthday party.  In February.

- I have no intention of going to the grocery store with the kids anytime in the near future.  Even though we are out of food.

- We watch a lot of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Finley the Fire Engine on youtube.  A lot, a lot, a lot.

I suppose every mom deals with the same sorts of things, right?  If you're one of those perfect Pinterest moms...please don't tell me.  I don't think I want to know that you exist. 


I'm linking up with Growing Up Geeky for Toddle Along Tuesday!  Care to share your own confessions this week?

Adelaide's Birth Story

Since Lincoln was born at 38 weeks and 3 days, by the time the end of week 37 rolled around in my second pregnancy, I was getting pretty anxious.  Of course, the general population of the world (store clerks, random strangers, friends on Facebook) seemed determined to tell me that their "first baby came two weeks early - but then the second one was almost two weeks late!"  Thanks for that.  Super encouraging.

I started feeling some cramping off and on during my 37th week and thought it could be a hopeful sign.  Several times in the week, the weather was nice and as soon as Andrew got home from work, we went outside on a mission to "walk the baby out."  No luck.  When Saturday, November 17 rolled around, it was a gorgeous day and I said "this is it - let's get to work."

We probably walked six miles over the course of the day.  We walked to the thrift store.  Stopped at the hardware store.  Considered going to Walgreens or the movie rental store (I nixed this last idea as I hoped to be in labor, not at home watching a movie).  While we walked, I would have some pretty encouraging contractions, anywhere from every 3-4 minutes to every 10 minutes.  Each time we stopped, though, the contractions mostly stopped too (though the cramping did continue). 

We finally gave up walking after it was dark and getting cold outside.  I bounced on my exercise ball in the living room for a long time and Lincoln tried to climb on my back to have a ride.  It was pretty cute.  By around 7pm, the contractions were still happening every 5-6 minutes even though I wasn't walking.  I started timing them. 

Last pregnancy photo, Saturday night!

By 8:15pm, I decided it was time to call my midwife.  I wasn't convinced that labor was imminent, but after Lincoln's fast delivery, I felt it might be a good idea to find out if I was progressing or if it was nothing.  I had also tested positive this pregnancy for Group Beta Strep and had been told I would need to have an antibiotic treatment at least four hours before delivery for baby's protection.  Since Lincoln was born less than five hours after my water broke (after an epidural that significantly slowed labor down) - and I was having a natural birth this time around, I was worried that there would not be enough time for the treatment unless I went in early.  I actually tried to clear the GBS+ infection up naturally for several weeks before birth to avoid needing the antibiotic - it was not entirely successful, which is why I went ahead with the treatment.  That's another story altogether, though.

My midwife told me that I could come in to the birth center to be checked.  The center is about a 25-minute drive and we arrived around 9pm.  I was dilated to 2.  I was disappointed it wasn't more, but still concerned that labor could move quickly.  The midwife said she didn't think it would be right away and that I should go home and rest.  So we reluctantly left.  Andrew was feeling overwhelmed with exhaustion, so it was probably good we weren't in active labor at that point!

When we got home, we went right to bed.  Andrew was out immediately.  I tossed and turned all night, waking up at least once an hour with cramping or contractions or because Lincoln had made a noise.  Since we were unfortunately in the throes of an ongoing toddler bed battle, Lincoln woke up and crawled into bed with us around 6am.  He nursed back to sleep and I was awake, so I checked my email on my phone - and I started emailing myself the times of my contractions.  I dozed off and on until about 8:20 - the contractions were anywhere from 3-6 minutes apart and felt definitely stronger than they had the night before.  I decided it was time to get up.  Andrew and Lincoln went to play while I took a quick shower.  I was in the shower for ten minutes and had six really strong contractions in that time.  I yelled for Andrew to call my mom to come stay with Lincoln, because we were going back to the birth center.

We were on the way by about 9:20am.  I called my midwife to let her know I was coming back.  She said she wasn't at the birth center and that maybe I should labor awhile at home before making the trip.  I said I really thought I should be checked.  She waited on the line, hoping to hear me breathe through a contraction - naturally I didn't have any during our conversation.  Finally she agreed to come back and check me again, but warned that she probably wouldn't keep me.  We planned to meet at 10am.

Since we were already on the way, we arrived a little early.  I was second-guessing myself at this point, since I had only had a few contractions in the car and they were not as strong.  Andrew suggested that we walk the trail near the birth center until the midwife arrived.  As soon as we started walking, the contractions started again and were about every five minutes apart and fairly strong.

When my midwife arrived, I was dilated to 3-4.  She said she wouldn't send me home, since there had been a change in my dilation, but as I was not yet in active labor, she wanted us to go have breakfast or go walk for an hour and come back to see if I had progressed more.  I asked about my GBS+ and she said we could go ahead and start a central IV line, put in the antibiotic, and give me a saline lock so that I would still be able to walk around.  It took about 35 minutes to get this accomplished.  While waiting, I had been pacing the exam room and the contractions were strong enough that I had to stop to breathe through some of them.  They still weren't what I would define as really painful, more just very strong cramps - but manageable.  Once the IV lock was in, my midwife checked me again.  I was at 6!  In 40 minutes, I had dilated 2-3 centimeters.  She told us not to go to breakfast and that maybe we should go ahead and put our things in a birthing suite before we went walking.  It was almost 11am at this point.

We made one trip to our car and each brought in an armload of stuff.  I was getting excited, we were going to have a baby today!  We took our bags to the birth room and I had to use the restroom.  Before I came out, I had the first contraction that I considered to be really serious - it was painful, it lasted longer than the others had, and I had to really focus to breathe through it.  I remember describing it as "not fun."  When I left the bathroom, my midwife was standing outside the door.  She said "Don't go outside.  I think you should just stay and labor in here." 

I had brought clothes to labor in, so I changed into those and started bouncing on the birthing ball.  I had taken the water birth course offered by my birth center - and while I wasn't planning for a water birth, I had entertained the idea of laboring in water.  The idea crossed my mind at this point, but I thought "there's plenty of time left for that." I was wrong.

While Andrew worked on organizing our things and letting a few family members know that we were in labor, I breathed through about three more contractions at the same level as that first nasty one, and asked Andrew to please rub my shoulders while I bounced on the ball.  With him there, I worked through three or four more contractions that seemed about the same intensity to me.  At this point, my midwife came in and said "are you feeling a lot of pressure?  It kind of sounds to me like you need to push." 

I was floored.  I remembered being in a state of panic when I was in transition in my labor with Lincoln.  These contractions were painful, yes, but there had only been a handful of them and there was no way it could be that easy, right?  I laughed and told her I didn't know if I needed to push, as I had only ever pushed with an epidural.  She asked to check me again during the next contraction and said that I was dilated to 8, but that my cervix was moving out of the way with the contractions - and that I could start pushing. 

I remember looking at Andrew, just shocked at how fast everything was moving!  I asked him to get out the camera so that we could get some photos once the baby arrived!  It took me a couple of contractions to really figure out how to effectively push (something I probably never achieved with Lincoln, thus the vacuum delivery).  My water broke around this time.  Once I knew what to do, I pushed through about three more contractions until she entered the world! 

I was definitely better prepared for this labor than I had been the first time around - but I won't lie and say that made the final moments much easier.  In hindsight, it all went by so quickly, but those last few pushes took everything I had.  Almost two weeks later...I really can't remember the actual pain of delivery.  I just feel a sense of amazement that I was able to do it!

Just after she was born!

Adelaide Rose was born at 11:52am on November 18, 2012.  Yes - less than two hours after we arrived at the birth center.  I am pretty glad that I listened to my mommy instinct; I don't think Andrew would have been pleased if he had to deliver our daughter on the side of a major highway. 

I got to hold her immediately, and did not put her down for well over two hours.  I had a minor tear that needed attention, as well as some excessive bleeding that my midwife and nurse hurried to get under control.  Being able to have Addie lying on my chest throughout all of this made it much, much easier!  Once I was able to move a little bit, we were able to try breastfeeding and she latched on immediately like a little champion.  After having 8 weeks of traumatic breastfeeding when Lincoln was a newborn, this made me happy enough to want to cry.

Eventually they took all of her vitals and we found that she weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces and was 20 inches long - just one ounce bigger than Lincoln!  She was born at 38 weeks and 2 days - one day earlier than Lincoln.  I can now brag that I grow pretty consistent babies.

The rest of our day did not go entirely as planned.  With a birth center birth, the expectation was that we would go home 4-8 hours after her birth.  At first, that seemed possible - but it took awhile to remedy my bleeding and I was having a lot of after-birth shaking and shivering.  The shaking is usually normal, but mine went on for several hours and I was really upset that I couldn't regain control.  It was also discovered that I had some very irregular swelling that was causing a lot of pain and pressure.  I was unable to roll or sit up easily, and I wasn't even allowed to try standing up yet.  A second midwife was called in to consult, and after her evaluation, a partner OB from a nearby hospital was called as well.  I was really grateful that the OB agreed to come directly to the birth center, rather than making me transfer to the hospital.  It was a huge relief!

I was moved to an exam room when the OB arrived, and while I was on some meds for relaxation, I learned that we were dealing with a blood clot situation.  Apparently a blood vessel had been damaged during delivery, allowing an extreme amount of blood to be released into the surrounding tissue.  I don't care to go into further detail, but the clots had to be removed and I received a fair number of stitches as a result.

Edited to add - after doing research a few weeks after she was born, I learned that my clot situation was actually what is known as a vaginal hematoma.  Six weeks post-birth, I still have some remaining swelling that is taking literally forever awhile to go away.  It is no longer bothersome, at least!

As awful as this was - as soon as the procedure was over, I immediately felt much better - more like I had expected to feel immediately after the birth!  It was about 7pm by the time I got back to my room - over 7 hours had passed since Addie's arrival.  We were finally able to contact family members and friends to let them know what was going on.  We had hoped to have Lincoln and our parents come up to visit a few hours after she arrived and had also had a photographer scheduled to be there for part of the day.  Neither of these things had happened, of course, with all of the craziness going on. 

My parents brought Lincoln up to meet Adelaide around 9pm.  Andrew's mom was on call at work, so they were unable to come at all that night.  Lincoln was really tired by the time they arrived - and he really didn't have any interest in Addie at all.  He did, however, try to pull out my IV several times.  I was reminded that it was a great choice to be at the birth center so we did not have to contend with him traipsing around a hospital room and its many cords, carts, and other things!

After my parents and Lincoln had gone home, we were at the birth center for a few more hours.  Between trying to get a little bit of rest, a shift change, eating Addie's birth day cake (baked for me in the birth center kitchen) and filing paperwork, we ended up leaving around 2am.  It was not really ideal, but we were ready to go home and try to sleep.

Overall, even though my birth experience did not go entirely according to plan, I was so glad that I had chosen a birth center for Adelaide's delivery.  The labor and birth process were so much more relaxed and even through all of the difficult recovery issues, my midwives and nurses were incredibly supportive and loving.  Addie was never out of my sight.  It was a wonderful experience in spite of the unexpected problems.

It also turned out to be a blessing in disguise that I had the central IV line for the GBS+ treatment.  While the antibiotics were not in my system long enough to be effective, I was given pitocin via IV almost immediately after the birth to help with the bleeding.  I also ended up needing medication while the clot situation was remedied, and I was given a strong antibiotic once everything was done, just as a precaution.  The GBS+ thankfully did not cause any problems for Addie - it was definitely helpful that my water did not break until I was pushing, so she had very little time for exposure.

Almost two weeks after the birth, I am still in recovery mode.  It's been hard for me because I felt great within about two days of Lincoln's birth.  I find it really hard when simple things like taking a shower or walking downstairs cause me to feel weak.  I know it will get better, so I am just trying to enjoy all the baby snuggles and take it easy!  The couch is my permanent station, well-stocked with diapers, wipes, Boppy, and water.

We are all in love with our sweet Adelaide Rose!  Her dramatic entrance to the world will definitely be a story to share for many years to come.   

Lincoln's Birth Story

I started working on writing Adelaide's birth story this week, and realized that it wasn't right to share hers without first sharing Lincoln's.  So much of his story is what led me to make different decisions for my second birth, it seems only fair to provide the back story!  So here we go!


It was February 19, 2011 and I was 38 weeks 3 days pregnant.  I woke up that morning at 6:30am with contractions that were semi-regular, but only about 7-10 minutes apart.  I really didn't think anything about it, even though some of them were fairly painful.  Up to this point in the pregnancy, I had not had a single contraction (not even Braxton Hicks), so I assumed that this was nothing - just my body starting to prep for the labor process.  Plus I was only 38 weeks and I had been assured by everyone in the world that there was no way he would arrive before I was at least 41 weeks (yay for encouragement, right?)

I couldn't seem to get settled once the contractions woke me up that morning, so I got up and started trying to be productive.  It was a Saturday and Andrew was home, but I just let him sleep, figuring there was no reason to get him excited yet.  I gathered up the camera batteries and my ipod and spent a little time clearing my memory cards, just in case it turned into something.  All of these were things on my list to do before his birth anyway, I thought I should just go ahead and get organized even if it wasn't an immediate need.

I also started packing our hospital bags.  (note to self. pack them sooner.  always.)  Lincoln's was easy to fill with way more things than he would actually need.  Mine, of course, was just sitting on the living room chair and I would throw things in as I thought of them. (not a good packing method)

Around 1pm, I took a shower.  I had a couple of contractions while in the shower that forced me to stop and breathe through them.  That was when I thought...wow, maybe this could be it!  But when I got out of the shower - the contractions slowed to one maybe every twenty minutes.  I was bummed.  I assumed it had to be just a false alarm and started working on the nursery organization project (Lincoln's dresser had finally arrived the night before), resigning myself to be pregnant for a few more weeks.

At about 3pm, the contractions picked up a little bit again, but it wasn't anything different or more intense.  Since I had just had two hours of basically nothing, I didn't think anything of it.  Andrew was helping in the nursery by this point, and we started to make a list of things to return to Target, and what items we still needed to purchase to complete our baby registry.  I wanted to go out and do something, after waiting around all day to no avail. 

I was lying on the nursery floor organizing Lincoln's tiny shoes at about 4:40pm when I had a contraction that felt weird - a little bit stronger than most and with a strange popping sound/feeling.  I still didn't think anything of it!  But when I stood up - whoa.  That was my water breaking! 

Suddenly we were in a crazy flurry of activity, as we looked at each other and said "um...we're having a baby today!"  I started rushing to get the rest of my things packed - which is a lot more difficult to do when you are gushing fluid.  At that point, I was pretty much just throwing random things into my bag.

I called my OB - he was out of town, so I talked to his partner.  I was told I likely had 12-16 hours of labor ahead, if my water had indeed broken.  Believe me, it had.  He said I could go ahead and come to the hospital, so we layered the passenger seat with towels and headed off.  The hospital was about 25 minutes away and my contractions became a lot stronger during the drive.  They were about every four minutes apart and I was having trouble sitting still.  It was about this time that Andrew accidentally took the wrong exit and added another ten minutes to our trip.  Whoops!

We arrived at the hospital at 5:50pm and got signed in, then I was transported by wheelchair up to the L&D unit.  When I arrived at my room, the nurse looked at my literally soaking wet jeans and said "I think we can skip the test to see if your water has broken."  She checked and we were all surprised to find that I was already dilated to 4-5!

We had let our parents know that we were on the way to the hospital, and about this time Andrew's mom and dad arrived.  We hadn't expected to have any promising news by this point, but since it appeared things were moving fast, we called my parents and told them they might want to head that way as well. 

My nurse came back in after about 30 minutes and looked at the contractions on the monitor.  She mentioned that they looked a little stronger and asked if I had noticed a difference.  I hadn't really seen a big increase but said maybe.  She checked me again and I was at 7.  She immediately sent someone to page the doctor because obviously I was not going to be in labor for 12-16 hours!  The contractions began intensifying and I started freaking out because I had not yet had an epidural.  My entire "birth plan" was: Go to Hospital.  Have Epidural.  Have Baby.  So I started asking when they could get that underway.  We waited what seemed like forever as they had to run some labs and had managed to lose the epidural consent form I signed during our hospital tour.  By the time the anesthesiologist got to my room, I was dilated to 9, in a lot of pain, and very much becoming out of control.  I had not even given thought to giving birth without meds, and I was not handling transition well as a result.

Finally they put the epidural in - it was so difficult to be still through the back-to-back contractions!  It didn't seem to take at first and I was pretty upset.  Finally though, I began to feel some relief and started breathing normally again as the pain subsided.  My nurse told me at that point that if I hadn't had the epi, Lincoln probably would have arrived within twenty minutes.  It probably wouldn't have done any good, but I wish she would have told me that before!

In the moment, I was totally fine with the fact that the epidural slowed my contractions from constant to every 4-5 minutes.  I was so relieved that the pain was gone!  Since I had been basically fully dilated when they finally got my epi in, I was able to start pushing as soon as the drugs had kicked in.  It was slow-going, however, since the labor had slowed so much with the medicine.  I pushed for about an hour before the OB came in and told me that he felt we should do a vacuum delivery and that he was going to perform an episiotomy. 

I had not done much research on any of these things, so I just assumed that these were things that were necessary, said "okay" and the flurry of activity began as everyone was prepping for baby's arrival.  I was shocked at how many nurses and assistants came into the room just before delivery!  With the aid of the vacuum, Lincoln was born after just three more contractions.  I didn't have any pain with the contractions, but the pressure was still pretty incredible even with the medication.

Lincoln James entered the world at 9:27pm on February 19, 2011.  He weighed 8 pounds, 6 ounces and was 20 inches long.  He was born with very chubby cheeks and the saddest little wailing cry I had ever heard!  His hands and feet were so big - lots of people commented on this in the first few days of his life.  Andrew was snapping photos constantly as the teams of nurses started cleaning up Lincoln and taking care of me. 

Proud Daddy!

Meeting Mommy for the first time!

I couldn't believe how beautiful he was - and that he was mine!  Such an amazing feeling.

Once both of us were all taken care of, Andrew brought in all of the proud grandparents to meet the little man!  Everyone was smitten at first sight.

First family photo!

After the grandparents had each had a chance to hold him for a few minutes, we were left alone and I was able to try nursing for the first time.  A lactation consultant was there to watch me - I don't honestly remember much about this experience but I seem to remember that Lincoln did pretty well for his first time nursing.

Lincoln had been born late Saturday evening, so we were in the hospital until Monday afternoon (President's Day).  It was tough to get any rest between the new little boy who wasn't sure about being out here in the world and all of the checking of vitals throughout the day and night.  We were pretty exhausted by the time we were finally cleared to go home.

It wouldn't be until several weeks/months later that I would think back on my hospital birth experience and wonder about some of the choices that I had made, or that had been made for me.  At the time of his birth, however, I was fine with the whole process and just so thrilled that my little boy had arrived safe and sound! 

Cool dude.

It was bright and sunny outside when we left the hospital.  We were so very excited to take Lincoln home with us and start a brand new adventure as a family of three!