Today, I'm Enough.

I hear a crash from two rooms away and cringe internally, dropping the towels I'm haphazardly folding to determine who or what has been damaged by the flying box of dominoes. The screaming starts before I hit the doorway and when I round the corner, both kids are crying, but I have no idea what happened. I confiscate the offending domino pieces, which makes everyone wail louder. I roll my head back against the wall, eyes closed in silent prayer....is it bedtime yet? And where is daddy? And why is dinner not even started at 5:15pm?

It's been a full day of seemingly minor disasters. No one wanted to do preschool. They both wanted the last squeeze pack of yogurt. He was apparently playing with the dog in the blue hat while it sat three feet away from him, so clearly she could not be allowed to touch it. Fuss, fuss, fuss. Whine, whine, whine. Endless carrying on about things that - while extremely essential to a toddler - are excruciatingly unimportant in the mind of a frazzled mama.

Day after day of stay-at-home mom life starts to wear on you after awhile. Often, by 9am, I am certain that my patience is up for the day (or the week) and I long for a do-over - or better yet, a quiet, dark room where it's 9am and I'm still blissfully asleep. I can't remember the last time I had anything even close to a full night's rest.

I take a deep breath and calm everyone down from the domino debacle with sippy cups of milk that will spoil their dinner, but I don't mind, really - it's the end of the month and money is tight (so groceries are scarce) and I haven't started making anything to eat yet anyway. The leading options are mac and cheese or spaghetti and I don't really want to think about wiping all that sauce off little faces and hands. The kids wander off to play and I pull a carton of eggs out of the fridge, hoping no one will notice or care that we just had breakfast food for dinner last night...and two nights before that.

I manage to get the eggs on the stove without any eager assistants noticing that I am cracking shells (a favorite task of theirs, which makes dinner prep take four times as long) and sink to the floor, head buried in my hands. I wonder where the day has gone, how the sink is still overflowing, and how I haven't managed to change the pee-covered sheets in the ten hours I've been awake in this house today. The kids need a bath, but I haven't cleaned the tub since last time, when someone squeezed mold out of a bath toy. I forgot to look for the missing library book again and my card will be blocked from excessive fines if it doesn't turn up in the next two days. The moments in a single day can be so painfully long, yet the hours whip by and leave me whirling like a leaf in the autumn air.

I hear the little feet approaching and breathe deeply, readying myself with a little bit more patience, one more perhaps slightly-less-than-eager smile. When I look up, she's six inches from my face, wearing a tutu and a puzzled expression. She takes my cheeks in her chubby hands, squeezes my face and giggles, then positions herself as close to me as she can manage and sighs, "I wuff you, mama."

A quick snuggle and she's on her way, dancing off to her next imaginative adventure or to tousle with her brother. A tear finds it's way to my eyelid and slowly trails down the place where her hand just left my cheek. The words are nothing to her...just a moment in her little day, but they are so much more than that to me.

She loves me. It doesn't matter that she wouldn't eat lunch and fought taking a nap for two hours straight and dragged an entire roll of toilet paper through every room in the house. She loves me even when I lose my patience and give up on preschool and put a towel over the pee sheets so we can sleep without doing more laundry. In spite of my rash behavior, regardless of how many times I sighed "no" at her today...to her, I'm simply mommy - and a person worthy of her trust and admiration. I'm enough in her eyes, and I can see plainly how that makes her feel secure as she toddles away.

I find the will to stand and cook the scrambled eggs, mix up some pancakes, and put a real, genuine smile on my face when daddy walks in the door. They'll test me again - probably at bedtime, but maybe even before that. And I'll do my best to respond with more patience and more love...because they deserve it. Somehow, knowing that they will be waiting with open arms and sticky syrup fingers even if I do screw up, makes this whole parenting job a little more doable.

And that? Well, for today, it's enough.

Five.

Five years ago last Friday, I married my best friend.

Five years ago. F-I-V-E.

I find that more than just a little crazy. It doesn't really seem like it was just yesterday anymore, but it definitely doesn't feel like so much time has passed.

People told us that the first year of married life would be the hardest. They were wrong. The first couple of years - when we had two incomes, multiple vacations a year (Disney and NYC in the span of four months? Yes please), and the ability to sleep late without worrying our toddler would burn the house down - were pretty much bliss.

That's not to say things aren't still great. It's just different. It's hard living on one income, it's hard being responsible for little people who don't sleep and fuss if you give them the wrong color sippy cup. I would give just about anything to go on a vacation, except I'm not sure it would be worth it since I would likely be in the backseat making silly faces and singing "Winnie the Pooh" at the top of my lungs for multiple hours in a row.

We have good days, frustrating days, and days where we are too tired to even talk to each other by the time the kids are asleep. Everybody keeps telling me things are just going to get crazier, but I like to imagine that we'll all function a little bit better when we're out of this sleep-deprived stage of life. For now, we're just taking it a day (or an hour) at a time.

We didn't plan anything big to celebrate our anniversary, because it's just not practical with an infant who nurses constantly and screams bloody murder if she can't see mommy at all times. So we went to a little local Italian restaurant (it wasn't terribly overpriced thanks to Groupon) and received slow enough service that we missed any reasonable movie showtimes. We weren't crushed - just thankful we didn't have the kids with us for dinner. Instead of a movie, we went to Target to get a birthday gift for our niece, and got home by 9:45pm to take back the screaming baby.

This, friends, is what a real-life 5th anniversary celebration looks like:

While we would like more sleep - it's still a good life. And there is no one else with whom I would rather spend it.

Love you, babe. Here's to 50 more years!

Old School Blogging - ABC's

I was tagged by Steffany at Spit & Sparkles to participate in this Old School Blogging linkup. Okay, so I was tagged like 2.5 weeks ago. And I am just now getting to it. I blame my sleepless child. Make sure you hop over to Steffany's blog and peek at her adorable twins.

A. Attached or Single? Attached. Married to Andrew. Fun fact: our wedding was the same weekend in August in 2008 as our first date in 2007.
B. Best Friend? It may be cliche to say Andrew, but seriously? No one else can cheer me up the way he can. Even when he thinks I'm all kinds of crazy.
C. Cake or pie? Chocolate cake, dripping in more chocolate. Though we've been on a pie kick lately and I would be thrilled if someone dropped a cherry pie on my porch today.
D. Day of choice? Saturday because Daddy is home!
E. Essential Item? iPhone, Gap lip balm, to-do list. Sunglasses and Chewbeads if I'm leaving the house.
F. Favorite color? Purple.
G. Gummy bears or worms? Worms, but honestly all gummy candy kind of grosses me out anymore.
H. Home town? Good old Lees Summit, MO (hey look, I still live here!)
I. Favorite Indulgence? Showering by myself while someone else is making sure the kids don't die. I'm kind of a psychopath if I don't get to shower.
J. January or July? January. Hot chocolate, snuggling with blankets, staying home...it's glorious.
K. Kids? Lincoln arrived in 2011, Addie joined us in 2012. They keep me busy.
L. Life isn’t complete without? Jesus, family, books, musicals, and chocolate.
M. Marriage date? August 2, 2008. Almost five years, what! Here's what I said at two.
N. Number of brothers/sisters? One awesome brother who married my awesome friend Rachel, but then moved away to live with her in Connecticut. I keep trying to convince him to move home since their baby (due in September) needs to be best buddies with my kids.
O. Oranges or Apples? Apples. I actually hate eating oranges. I have an issue with their consistency.
P. Phobias? Spiders, cooking, and I worry that I'm a terrible mother on days when my kids don't sleep at all.
Q. Quotes? "Someday is not a day of the week" and this one by Walt Disney.
R. Reasons to smile? My beautiful family, thunderstorms, craft supplies scattered everywhere (means a good-for-the-soul craft project is in progress).
S. Season of choice? Fall is my favorite. Pumpkin patches, the Enchanted Forest, crisp cool weather...and my birthday. Love it all.
T. Tag 5 People. Stephanie, Rebecca, Erin, Randi, and Beth (no hard feelings if you don't want to do it, ladies!)
U. Unknown fact about me? I've chewed gum twice in my life and found the experience to be a severe disappointment.
V. Vegetable? I actually really love broccoli, but I'm limited as to how much I can consume lately due to nursing (makes baby gassy). I also like carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes, and corn. Beyond that, I don't touch most veggies.
W. Worst habit? Never ever cleaning my kitchen sink. Wasting time on Facebook instead of blogging.
X. Xray or Ultrasound? Ultrasound I guess? This question is weird.
Y. Your favorite food?I seem to always want a sweet chipotle chicken sandwich from McAlister's Deli. Like, literally always. Even after having just consumed one.
Z. Zodiac sign? I think I'm a Libra. lol.

So, the idea was to link up with Jennifer or Elaine in the month of June. Way to go,  me, doing this in July...! Oh well.

This whole blog post concept reminds me sooo much of my old Xanga blog. Anybody else have one of those? They were 47 kinds of awesome.

Disney Challenge Day 8: Favorite Kiss

Disney movies are nothing if not romantic!  I admit, my first inclination for today's challenge was Belle and Prince Adam, but in an effort to be more diverse and not choose Beauty & the Beast every day, I'm branching out!

My decision?  Favorite kiss goes to Aladdin and Jasmine.  It is a super cute kiss.  And Aladdin's "yes!!!" reaction is my favorite.

In researching Disney movie kisses, I found this adorable video on youtube.  Hope you enjoy as much as I did.


Make sure you follow along on the Chameleon Girls Facebook page and the Disney 30 Day Challenge Pinterest Board for each day's challenge!  Plus, you can read all of my favorites here on the blog!

Disney Challenge Day 2: Favorite Princess

This may be my favorite day of the 30-day Disney challenge.  It's a super easy decision.  My favorite Disney princess is - and has pretty much always been - Belle.

Maybe it's because my Daddy took me to Price Chopper to buy the VHS after I split my eyebrow open on the playground when I was in Kindergarten (yeah, playground equipment terrifies me now that I have kids).

Maybe it's because she has this piece of hair that's always out of place and it just makes her a little more normal.

Maybe it's because she loves books so much.  A princess who loves to read is an inspiration for little girls everywhere. 

Or maybe it's because she's a girl who knows what she wants - and she's not afraid to wait for it.

Best scene in the movie.

If you ask my parents about my Beauty & the Beast history, they will undoubtedly tell you a story of how I would run up and down the hallway in my childhood home, swinging a basket wildly and singing about how I wanted more than this provincial life.

My husband took me to a high school production of Beauty and the Beast when we were dating and watched me cry when Belle danced with the Beast.  And you know what he did?  He gave me the most magical day of my life.

Yes, this is our actual engagement.

Most romantic thing EVER.

Another childhood dream came true when I finally was able to meet Belle herself when we visited Disney in 2010. Amazing!

Me + Belle at Epcot

I love the other princesses as well, and have a particular fondness for Ariel, Rapunzel, and Cinderella.  But Belle will always, always be my favorite.  Which princess do you love best?

Make sure you follow along on the Chameleon Girls Facebook page and the Disney 30 Day Challenge Pinterest Board for each day's challenge!  Plus, you can read all of my favorites here on the blog!

How I Met My Hubby

There once was a bird girl named Gertrude McFuzz...

And she had no idea that she was being watched - by the guys in the community theatre light booth.  I was performing in a production of Seussical and was kind of oblivious to the way certain members of the tech crew were acting.  Looking back, yikes.  I probably flirted a lot without even realizing it.

But there was this one guy who really didn't try to get my attention.  He came up to my table one night halfway through the 8-day performance run, and asked to take a photo of me, for his costume file or something like that.  I totally bought that.  I honestly don't remember what day we actually met each other, as all of the nights of the show still run together in my mind.  But when he stopped by with his camera, a friend of mine happened to snap his picture, too.

No - this is not the photo he took of me.
But these photos were taken in the same moment.

The show ended and we all went our own merry ways.  Then a couple days later, I got a Facebook message from him.  Asking me for a date.  I said yes even though we were pretty much complete strangers.  He was cute, after all.  :)  But I told him it would have to be in a couple of weeks because I had friends visiting from out of state and we were busy the whole time they were here.

We ended up inviting a bunch of people from Seussical to go to a Kansas City Royals game with us a few days after the show had closed.  Not very many people came - but Andrew was one of them.  I guess you could call this event sort of a pre-date?  

At least he wasn't horrified by all of the snacks I sneaked into the stadium!

It was a very light-hearted evening, and not all of my friends knew that this random guy we were hanging out with had actually already asked me out.  It was a fun night - pouring rain, fireworks, and I'm sure the Royals lost (ha).

I'm pretty sure this is the first photo of the two of us.

Much better.

After that night, my best friends said that he was cute and I had their stamp of approval.  I eagerly awaited our first "real" date.  Which...was my first date, ever.  

So it was kind of a big deal!!!

He picked me up and took me to the Kansas City Country Club Plaza.  We ate at Brio Tuscan Grille and we both special ordered our food - having no idea that our incredibly picky tendencies were eerily similar.  We then saw Hairspray at the movie theatre next door - fitting since we have spent an awful lot of the last five years discussing musicals. 

After the movie, I was bummed that we had to go home.  It had been a really fun night.  Considering that we were two perfect strangers, we had had a decent running conversation all night, and it seemed that we had a lot in common.  I didn't want the night to end.

We wandered onto a street corner where some street musicians were performing, as we started to head back to our car.  We stood awkwardly listening for awhile.  And then, he asked me to dance.  I actually laughed and said, what?!!  He said he was serious.  I said absolutely.  And we slow-danced to I Believe I Can Fly on a street corner with all the awkwardness of two strangers.

And it was so, so beautiful.  Even if it is the anthem from Space Jam.

As we walked back to the car, he stopped by a random fountain and asked to take my photo.  I then dug out my camera and convinced a random passerby to take a photo of the two of us.  I had a feeling that I was going to want a memory of this night.

Our first date was August 4, 2007.  Our wedding was August 2, 2008.  We didn't get engaged until December...but I knew that night that I was going to marry this man.

And the rest is history!


I'm linking up with Growing Up Geeky tonight for Toddle Along Tuesday!  How did you meet your significant other? 

5 days until 4mo. Today.

Wow.  It's been awhile. 

I'll post again soon with more updates from the last few months.  But for now, I want to share about today.

Lincoln, today...

*you think your Exersaucer is fabulous.  You're talking to it, beating on the little rolling wheel, and attacking the sunshiney toy like the world is coming to an end. 

*you slept 8 1/2 hours in your crib last night - and you put yourself to sleep.  I set you in your crib wide-awake at 10:20pm, thinking I would have to stay up with you for several more hours.  But you just rolled right over to your tummy, made some little noises, and went right to sleep.  I couldn't believe it.  Still can't.

*you're starting to stick your little legs under you and try to shove off the ground when you're on your tummy.  I'm not ready for you to crawl yet, kiddo.  Not ready at all.

*you have decided that rolling is awesome.  Back to front, front to back, round and round.  As much as you can, you are rolling.  You're trying to roll off my lap and off the changing table, which is a whole different story. 

*your bedroom is a mess because I'm in the middle of putting away your 0-3 month clothes and getting out the 3-6 month stuff.  How are you so big?  I cried a couple nights ago when your Daddy took your 0-3 month jammies out of your drawer.

*you love your binky, but in the past couple of days you have truly discovered your thumb.  I think it's rivaling binky for your love.

*you are loving books!  We read a couple of stories every night before bed (at the very least) and you chatter at the pictures.  Unless you're super hungry.

*you sometimes can't decide if you're laughing or crying.  Which means I have no idea, either.

*you love the puppy dog toy that hangs on your carseat.  You've started reaching out to grab it. 

*you frequently have a moment during your naps where you just SCREAM at the top of your lungs.  You're still asleep.  But it scares me to death every time.

*you love to go outside.  But you sneeze every time we head out into the sunshine.  Allergic to the sun?  I think your Daddy is, so maybe.  :)

*you have a lot of very light hair on the top of your head.  If it's brushed sideways you can see it, but otherwise people think you have no hair.

*you love to talk.  Loudly.  Especially when Mommy and Daddy are trying to watch TV.

*you have a monkey on your bum.  And I think it's the cutest thing ever.

I love you, sweet baby!

McKinley Top 10 Moments of 2010

Top Ten Moments Christmas Card

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two.

Busy day yesterday...never quite got to the blog post.

Busy few weeks, actually. Sorry for the lack of communication.

Anyway - my awesome hubby and I celebrated two years of wedded bliss yesterday. I wanted to post some photos of the two of us but have discovered that apparently I never got those shots uploaded and I don't have access to them at the moment. New project!

Thinking about the wedding scrapbook. Thinking. Not actually doing anything. But at least it's in my consciousness...

If I remember, I'll post some pics from our mini-vacation this weekend. Lovely time spent at a quaint little B&B in Parkville, MO.

♥ to Andrew. Happy Anniversary!!

fun weekend.

I love holiday weekends. Really.

We actually worked on Saturday, so it was a split weekend. Having Friday off was super nice, though. Andrew took me to the Plaza for a sweet little date. The rest of the weekend was spent doing projects at home. I crossed about eight things off my to-do list. Excellent.


I'm taking a photography class, so while we were out on the town, I was taking some photos shot entirely in Manual, for this week's assignment. They aren't perfect, but I'm pretty proud of them anyway. :)

This is "our" fountain. On our very first date, we took a photo here. :)

If only every day could be a weekend day....

i have the best hubby.

I told Andrew I wanted some Dear Lizzy product for Valentine's Day. Instead of trying to find this himself - he gave me some cash from a secret stash and took me to Archiver's for a spending spree! I was pretty excited. I've been waiting to see the Dear Lizzy line for quite some time...not to mention I hadn't been to Archiver's in months, so this was amazing!!!

Here's a shot of all of my loot, after the adventure. I only went $12 over my budget. I think that's pretty good. And really, for how much I spent...I got a lot of fantastic stuff. I can't wait to use it all! :)


Especially excited about my new SMOOCH colors, and my very first bottle of Glimmer Mist!

♥ scrapbooking. so much.

my love.

You make me smile like the sun,

Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head -
Spin like a record crazy on a Sunday night.

You make me dance like a fool,
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee.

Just the thought of you can drive me wild.

Ohh you make me smile.


Love you baby. Thanks for always making sure that I'm smiling. :)