Wordless Wednesday: Newborn Photo Sneak Peek

Seriously can't believe how beautiful she is!  Now I just have to find time to edit these photos....

Why I Chose to Deliver at a Birth Center

If you had told me five years ago that I would elect to deliver a baby naturally, with no interventions or pain medication, in a setting other than a hospital, I would have laughed.  A lot.  As far as I knew, babies were born in hospitals.  And sometimes weird interesting people had babies at home.

When Lincoln was born, I used the OB recommended by my primary care doctor.  I faithfully went to all of my appointments, asked very few questions, and when it came time for birth, just went along for the ride.  This is perhaps not the best approach to something as big as birth, but I didn't know any better at the time.  I assumed that my team of providers at Lincoln's birth had my best interest at heart and didn't question their judgment, ever.

And here is what I got as a result:

1. My delivery doctor was a complete stranger, I met him when he came in to check my dilation.  That's always fun. 

2. I was strapped to a contraction monitor and forced to work through painful contractions while lying on my back.  I didn't know any better - but I would have been much more relaxed had I been allowed to move around.

3. I went into labor naturally and arrived at the hospital at 6pm on Saturday evening of a holiday weekend.  My labor was progressing very quickly and the baby was holding up just fine, yet my doctor recommended that we proceed with a vacuum delivery after about an hour of ineffective pushing.  Maybe I am wrong, but the timing of everything kind of made it seem like he had other places to be that weekend.

4.  To facilitate the vacuum delivery, I received an episiotomy.  I learned later that this makes a mom far more likely to tear in future deliveries, as the scar tissue must grow back from a direct incision rather than a natural tear.  Yay me.

5.  When Lincoln was born, it was probably half an hour before I was able to hold him.  I didn't know at the time that this could make it harder to bond with and breastfeed my baby.

6.  I got no rest in the hospital.  None.  Every time I thought I could fall asleep, someone would come in to check vitals on me or the baby.  If the baby happened to be sleeping, he would be awake then.  The one time that I actually managed to sleep, they had taken Lincoln for a routine hearing screening.  I woke up in the middle of the night, three hours later, to discover that my baby had never been returned to my room.  When I called the nurse, they told me this test took several hours.  I watched the test when Adelaide had it - it took five minutes.  So where was my baby for three hours the one time I slept?

7.  When I was having terrible problems breastfeeding when Lincoln was four days old, I called the hospital lactation consultant to try to find out if Lincoln had been given formula or a pacifier - he had a great latch at first and then seemed to forget.  She was incredibly rude and refused to look at his chart for me.  I said that I was concerned he was not eating and her response was "Well you have been home for two days.  If he is not nursing, WHAT are you feeding him?  He has to eat."  My response was silent crying.  Her response to that?  A huge huff and "Come to our breastfeeding support group next Monday.  I can look at you then."  This phone conversation happened on Thursday.  Sure, I'll just starve my baby for the next four days until your meeting.  No problem! 

Lincoln's Hospital Birth, February 2011.

In spite of all this, when I found out that Adelaide was on the way, I didn't plan a whole lot of changes.  Our insurance had changed and I hoped to deliver at a hospital that was closer to home, so I asked around and found a doctor who delivered there.  This hospital had a great track record for being breastfeeding-friendly, so I thought that was a good sign.  I assumed that since my labor with Lincoln was fast and I barely had time for an epidural, that I would likely be looking at giving birth unmedicated.  But I figured we would just address it when the time came.

I don't think there was any one specific thing that led me to feel I was not in the right place for my delivery.  My OB was nice, the staff was friendly.  I frequently had to wait an extremely long time for my appointments, but I assumed that was just part of the business - since everyone in the world seemed to be pregnant at the same time as me.

I guess at some point, I started thinking about the actual birth.  And the recovery.  I was really not excited about staying in the hospital for 2-3 days.  Lincoln was still nursing and had never spent the night away from us.  I was worried that having Mommy gone for several days was going to wreak havoc on his little system.  Adding a new baby was bad enough, but why introduce her after Mommy has been gone for days?  We also had another insurance change around this time, so I was looking at providers anyway.  When I was bemoaning the hospital stay to a friend, her response was "well have you looked at a birth center?"

I hadn't.  But that was all I needed to get started.  I did some googling.  I talked to some other friends.  I told Andrew that it was a possibility we were going to switch and we went to a tour of the birth center facility when I was about 30 weeks pregnant. 

And I loved it.

Everyone was friendly and smiling and helpful.  The birthing suites were beautiful.  I had the option of a water birth (something I had really never considered).  I would have appointments with all of the midwives who might be present at my delivery.  I would be allowed to labor in whatever position I wanted, with no attached contraction monitor.  I would be able to hold my baby immediately after she was born.  I would definitely not have a vacuum delivery except in a case of extreme emergency.  I would have tons of breastfeeding support. 

And best of all?  I would get to go HOME within 4-8 hours of birth.  No days of recovery time with constant poking and prodding at the hospital.  My baby would never leave my side and Lincoln would have Mommy home hopefully the same day.

It was perfect.  I was still a little worried about having no pain medication - but because of all the other wonderful aspects of the birth center, I almost didn't mind.  I switched providers at 30 weeks.  Since I transferred so late in the pregnancy, it was difficult to schedule everything appropriately so that I could meet all of the midwives on staff.  In fact, I met one of them three days before Adelaide's birth.

When Addie's birth day came, I could not have been more relieved at my choice.  We arrived at the birth center just two hours before her birth, but nothing was ever frantic.  The atmosphere was relaxed, yet exciting.  Even through all of my difficult recovery complications, the overall experience was above and beyond my expectations.  I didn't end up going home until 14 hours after Adelaide was born - but that was still much better than 2-3 days.

Adelaide's BIRTH Day Cake at the Birth Center, November 2012.

A birth center is such a great option for someone who is not comfortable with a hospital birth - and also not comfortable with a homebirth.  I know that I personally, after dealing with recovery problems after Adelaide's birth, will probably not ever consider a homebirth.  I had a pretty scary situation this time around, so I would prefer to always be somewhere with the necessary supplies to take care of any problems that may arise.  Of course, her delivery was so fast I am a little worried about having an unplanned unassisted homebirth (or car birth) with future child(ren).

If you've made it to the end of this, you get the most awesome reader award.  What's your experience?  Hospital?  Birth center?  Homebirth?  I would love to hear your thoughts!

Oh Boy... Mom Confessions

Hm.  I'm not sure how I feel about writing this post.  Do I really want to share my mom confessions with the whole big blogosphere?  I have to assume that someday when my kids are grown and gone, I will enjoy looking back at even things like this - so I will persevere and be maybe a little more honest than I want to be. ;)

I've spent most of my life dreaming about being a mommy.  In my perfect imaginary world, I was going to have thirteen beautiful children (yeah, not kidding), homeschool them all, bake cookies daily, sew adorable clothes for everyone for every occasion, and of course, do Pinterest-worthy crafts literally all the time.  That was the plan.

But here's the thing.  Being a mom is hard. 

I'm not having thirteen children.  While I do still want to have a large family, I realize that I could never give proper attention to that many babies.  More of a selfish reason though - I cannot be pregnant that many times.  We don't have a definite plan for how large our family will end up, but it's probably going to be directly related to my future pregnancies and their difficulties.  If they're anything like the first two...I'm not sure how many times I will want to go through everything again.

Pinterest, I have a memo for you.  Crafting takes work.  You have to pick a craft.  Gather the supplies.  If you happen to not have everything on hand (which, let's face it - you don't) - you have to drag everyone out to the craft store, where it's a miracle if your toddler doesn't break 17402 pieces of expensive glassware.  Plus, while your kids are under the age of two, pretty much all craft supplies are just treated like colorful snacks anyway.  Anybody else feel it's usually not worth the effort?

I have fabric to make the following projects: a superhero cape for Lincoln, a Christmas dress for Addie, a dolly for Addie, bright-colored blocks to match the nursery, yellow and blue fabric for curtains in the nursery, all of our Christmas stockings...I could go on, but you can probably see my point.  Instead of making the projects that I have meticulously planned, I run to the store on a whim to buy purple tulle to make a tutu for my impromptu homemade newborn photo shoot (will share how that went soon).

And I can't even tell you the last time I baked cookies.

Here are the things I'm not especially proud of at the moment:

- Meals are not very structured when I am home by myself with the kids.  Lincoln eats lunch as he runs around the living room, since I am usually nursing the baby.

- My house is a wreck most of the time and I don't care.  Or worse - sometimes I do care, but I still don't do anything about it.

- I think the last time I dusted was for Lincoln's first birthday party.  In February.

- I have no intention of going to the grocery store with the kids anytime in the near future.  Even though we are out of food.

- We watch a lot of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Finley the Fire Engine on youtube.  A lot, a lot, a lot.

I suppose every mom deals with the same sorts of things, right?  If you're one of those perfect Pinterest moms...please don't tell me.  I don't think I want to know that you exist. 


I'm linking up with Growing Up Geeky for Toddle Along Tuesday!  Care to share your own confessions this week?

Adelaide: 2 Weeks Old

How did this happen, little princess?  Today you are two weeks old!

This was the first week that Daddy went back to work, leaving Mommy alone with you and big brother.  We did okay. 

You are still sleepy most of the day and you love to cuddle.  You will sleep in the swing or the rock 'n play when I need my hands, but most of the time you are curled up on me, dreaming away.  It's the best feeling ever.

Lincoln has started paying a lot more attention to you this week.  Several times a day, he will come up and chatter endlessly at you, pat your head, play with your fingers and toes and poke your eyes (it's not intentional).  He has also tried to pick you up from the swing several times and has "helped" Mommy carry you across the living room.  I think he can tell that you guys are going to be great friends.

This week, we adventured to both grandparents' houses and saw all of your great-grandparents as well.  Otherwise, we haven't had a lot of visitors and Mommy is okay with that.  It's tough to find a routine with people coming and going. 

We went out to eat for the first time as a family of four on Friday night.  You slept in your carseat on top of the table at McAlister's the entire meal.  It was so successful, we decided to go to Target.  That was not as successful.  We may wait awhile before trying that again.

From about 7pm to midnight, all you want to do is eat - constantly.  It might drive me crazy, but once you have finally settled for the night, you are sleeping a consistent 4-6 hour stretch.  This is about as good as Lincoln currently sleeps, so I am thrilled.  Please let this be one habit that you keep!

People are starting to say that you look like Mommy.  Is that the case?  I can't really tell yet, but maybe.

 We could not possibly be more thrilled with our sweet, sweet baby girl. Time is already rushing by too quickly!  I'm so glad we get to spend this life loving you.  You make the world a much more beautiful, happy place.

Love,
Mommy

Simple Moments v.3

Sleeping all curled up in Mommy's arm.  Is there really anything more simple and beautiful than this?  I am loving all of the sweet little snuggles from this precious girl.