Lincoln: 4 Years Old

My boy is four years old. If you ask him, he'll tell you that he is still three because he doesn't "feel like four" yet. He's the most inquisitive, awesome, amazing little man on this planet and it's such a joy to be his mama.

Lincoln,

I can't believe that you are four (whether you think you are or not). It seems in some ways that you were just born yesterday. Four is halfway to eight, which is halfway to sixteen...which scares me to death, so I'll just back off that train of thought right away. Your childhood is going by way faster than I ever imagined it would.

Your delayed speech is a thing long forgotten. People always told me "you just wait until he talks, and you'll wish he'd never learned" - but while some nights I do breathe a little sigh of relief when the house is quiet but for the sounds of you and your sister breathing, that warning could not have been further from reality. I love hearing you talk. I love talking to you. I love that we can now have conversations and talk about the way things make you feel. I love that you have your own opinions on everything and yes, I even kind of secretly love the screaming dinosaur "roars" that terrify your sister out of her mind every.single.day.

I love your over-eager willingness to help and I try to let you whenever I can because your devastation when you are told no is so utterly heartbreaking. You want to be involved in every single thing that is going on, and at least five hundred times a day, you ask me "how come?" You never say "why" and I kind of love that you've adopted your own version of this common childhood question.

You get stronger every day, I think, and you don't really know your own strength. You routinely bowl over your sister and hit mommy in the legs with your head. It's not always on purpose, but we're trying to learn about being gentle either way.

Last summer, I realized that you don't play with cars the same way you once did. Right now, your favorite things to play are Octonauts (we have so many toys I've actually lost track) and puzzles. You're exceptionally talented at big floor puzzles - we have an outer space one that you can do all by yourself!

When you play, you have so much more imagination! I routinely hearing you inventing conversations between your cars, or pretending to be Captain Barnacles when you are playing Octonauts. The cars tend to get grouped by size ("daddy cars," "mommy cars," "brother cars," etc.).

We're still working on night time potty training, but other than that you can go all by yourself most of the time. We almost made it to age 4 without another major injury, but last week you had stitches in your chin. You handled it like a champ and haven't even worried about it since it happened.

We started preschool in the fall, but haven't been able to keep up with a consistent learning schedule. I think it may have been a little too much to expect of you at age three, anyway. We've done more unschooling this fall and winter, and as a result you know most colors, the alphabet, and you can count to sixteen or seventeen. We'll do a more official preschool this fall and I think we'll all be ready for it.

Your favorite books right now are Stanley's Garage, Stanley the Builder, Stanley the Farmer, anything about Curious George, and the Usborne Pull-back Busy Train Book.

I haven't heard you call yourself "Inky" in weeks. I almost can't bear it.

You love going on adventures, and every day you want to know what the plan of action will be. If we're searching for something (or if we're in a store), you like to say "let's split up to cover more ground!" In stores, that's frightening for mom!

You learned how to use Netflix within a day or two of our having a subscription. You relish the freedom of being able to choose your own show to watch and put up quite a fight when I say we have to let Addie choose, too. Your favorite shows are Octonauts (of course), Clifford, Wild Kratts, Busy Town Mysteries, and LaLaLoopsy (which mom and dad really can't stand).

You and Addie are best friends, though you spend more time bickering with each other than playing most days. Maybe that's not entirely true. The screeching and fussing at one another seems to occupy a good portion of our time, however. She wants to do everything that you do and you're not always thrilled about it, but we're working on helping you understand that she looks up to you and you need to be a good example.

Sleeping is still not great, but it's also not terrible. You go to sleep around 8-8:30pm, wake up sometime between midnight and 3am to crawl in bed with mom and dad, then sleep until maybe 6:30 or 7am. A couple weeks ago, you slept in until almost 9 two days in a row and I thought we had a miracle on our hands. Unfortunately, it didn't last. I think you are actually tired most of the time, but you run so fast and fight it so hard that you don't even notice.

Food has taken on a whole new meaning in your life. You've been on a somewhat special diet for several months because I was pretty sure you had a cavity forming on one of your front teeth (good news: that's cleared up now), but in January we went to a specialist as suggested by our chiropractor. She ran some tests and determined that you have a pretty significant yeast imbalance, so we are currently on a diet that consists of no dairy, egg, wheat, gluten, and oats. You have done so much better with all of this than I expected, but finding meals to eat has been a little bit difficult. We're still trying to get you to eat vegetables, but they are hidden in smoothies regularly and you swallow small pieces of them without much fight. You're also able to swallow small vitamin supplements, which is amazing! We're not sure if these diet changes will be permanent or not, but thankfully you've adapted just fine - and I think your palate will continue to improve as your body is healthier and we are able to find more options for you to try.

Most of your shirts are 5T and your pants are 4T. You weigh 42 pounds.

I'm not sure I know how to put into words how precious you are to me. I can't believe that you are four, and I really can't believe that means we are on our way to age five. FIVE. For today, I'm going to enjoy my busy, wild, exhausting, wonderful four-year-old Lincoln as much as I can. Here's to a magical, wonderful year of your childhood together. It may be the best one yet.

Love,
Mommy

Past Birthday Letters to Lincoln

Two | Two and a Half | Three | Three and a Half

Lincoln: 3 1/2 Years Old

Somehow, I managed to completely miss Lincoln's half birthday this year. I think that means childhood is speeding by too fast, so someone please send a memo to this little man to quit growing so fast already. I know he won't listen to you, but it's worth a try!

I don't even know where to start...it seems like the past few months have held some of the biggest leaps in Lincoln's life. And while that's a good thing, it's just hard to believe how much (and how quickly) he is changing.

Lincoln, you talk so much now. It is a constant chatter - to yourself, to mommy, to Addie, to anyone who will listen - or your toys if no one will. You have a strong opinion about most of the everyday decisions in life (such as when to get in the car, brush your teeth, eat your dinner, put your plate in the sink, pick up your toys) and you're starting to come up with excuses like "I'm busy right now" or "Not yet" when asked to complete a task. You're able to tell us a lot more about what you're feeling - "that makes me sad!" or "I'm fwustwated!" - which is very helpful to us as parents, especially after your speech delays that had us all confused and frustrated at one another when you were younger. One of my favorite words right now is "willn't" - it means "won't." I told Daddy not to teach you the real way to say it.

You are definitely no longer a baby. Sometimes when you're sleeping, I'm reminded of what you felt like snuggled up in my arms as a tiny newborn, but it has gone by so fast. I can't believe it. You're about 90% potty trained after a long struggle (still need to work on nighttime),

You want to help mommy and daddy do everything. If we say no, you cry as though your heart is broken into a thousand pieces.

I didn't think the day would come, but you don't play with cars and trucks the way you once did. Don't take that the wrong way - you still like them, but now there are schemes and plans and adventures happening when you do decide to sit down and play with your overflowing bin of cars. I want to hop back in time for a day and drive cars with you endlessly, mindlessly, for the sheer joy of seeing the wheels turn. I wasn't planning to cry while writing this post...but it's too late, now. I didn't know how much I would miss having little cars strategically lined up across the entire couch for days on end.

You love reading right now. Your favorite books are Berenstain Bears, Little People Lift-the-Flaps, and all of the tiny lift-the-flap board books (especially classics like Two Bad Mice, Peter Rabbit, and the like). I can sometimes find you with a stack of books, just reading to yourself, and that makes my heart smile. Even busy little boys can love reading, buddy.

We started preschool a few weeks ago, and while we may be a few days behind at the moment, you (for the most part) love it. You memorized Genesis 1:1 ("in the beginning, God "macrated" the heavens and the earth), learned to draw 0's and 1's, and love the color blue. Some of your favorite school activities are coloring with markers, playing the apple tree counting game, and putting stickers on your daily chart. I'm excited about homeschooling, because right now you have such an enthusiastic desire to learn.

You are no longer nursing. We hit the milestone of weaning a few weeks before you were three and a half. I had a lot of mixed feelings about it, but I was starting to feel pretty worn down from nursing two kids for almost two years, and you more or less forgot how to latch (which meant it was painful for me). For the last few months, you nursed maybe once every other day or two. It wasn't very difficult to distract you from the idea once I decided that we had probably reached the end. I am proud that we nursed until you were well over three years old, and will never apologize to anyone for it.

You are always up for an adventure, and if mommy gets dressed before 10am, you chirp "Mommy! Where we going today?!" Some recent favorite adventures were to Texas to visit your baby cousin Jackson, Deanna Rose Farmstead this summer, to see your first musical - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang at the Coterie Theatre, and to ride Thomas.

You know all the basic colors and some others like silver and gold. You can identify most shapes without blinking. You can count almost to twenty and recognize at least 50% of the alphabet letters (and know a lot of their sounds - you definitely know the sounds of R, S, and T). Daddy thinks you'll be ready for basic math skills in the next few months. When asked your name, you can recite your full name - but still consistently tell people that your name is Inky. And I love that.

Your favorite TV show right now is The Octonauts, and "Captain Barnacles" is your second identity. You have declared Addie to be Peso, Mommy to be Dashi, Daddy to be Shellington, and mommy's parents (Bun and Pa) to be Kwazii and Inkling. There are some days that both you and Addie only refer to me as Dashi. It's kind of hilarious. Your Sunday School teacher even recently wrote "Captain Barnacles" on the paper you brought home from class. When you got to meet the Octonauts, though, you were scared out of your mind! I love to hear you sing - you know a few real songs, but usually just string words together in song.

You and Addie remain best pals, but now that she's old enough to (sort of) fight back, I am playing a constant referee. You guys are constantly chasing, pushing, poking, sitting on each other...and so on. You also fiercely love each other and can't stand it if the other gets to do something without you.

Your sleep pattern has improved a lot since we started chiropractic care earlier this year. At the beginning of the year, you ended up in our bed every night - usually by 1 or 2am. Lately, you've been sleeping through the night (from about 8:30pm - 7:30am) or at least only waking once or twice - and staying in your room after waking. Until we get you potty trained at night, we'll probably deal with this for awhile. But overall - it's much improved and you are getting better rest.

Food is a battle, unfortunately. After Addie's early childhood tooth decay, I have been extra cautious about what we are consuming and have been watching your teeth for any signs of decay. You have a couple of spots on your front middle teeth that are showing some early markers for caries, and I can't even stomach the idea of going through another dental surgery in our family right now. So you are on a very limited diet of only whole foods with limited grains and dairy, in an effort to stop and hopefully reverse the decay before it progresses into a large problem. You are taking a multivitamin and cod liver oil supplements daily, and don't fight these as much as you did at the start. Eating veggies is a battle, but Daddy taught you "the water trick" (or, swallowing a small piece of food without chewing) and now I can get you to eat a few bites at each meal that way.

You have a mix of clothing ranging from 3T - 5T. Most of the new shirts I'm buying for fall are 5T and the pants are 4T (though they are a little long still). You weigh about 40 pounds and will actually stand on our scale at home now to see the number.

I don't have words for how much I love you, and I hope that you know that even when your frantic, headlong enthusiasm frustrates me or scares me to death.  We're running toward age four at a very unbelievably fast pace, and while I'm so excited to watch you learn and grow and fly...it terrifies me, too. I don't know how to be a four-year-old's mom yet. I guess we'll just take it one day at a time, when we get there.

You're my very favorite boy - and it melts my heart when you tell me that I'm your favorite girl, too. I hope I get the privilege of holding that title for a long, long time, Lincoln.

I love you,
Mommy

Addie's Teeth: Early Childhood Caries & Fighting Severe Tooth Decay in Breastfed Toddlers

Did you know that kids can get cavities in their baby teeth before they’re even two years old? I sure didn’t – until it was my kid. In the time-span of a few short months, I learned more than I ever cared to know about Early Childhood Caries, or the severe decay of baby teeth (even in a breastfed toddler). And I especially found that it's a tough situation for a mom who is seeking a natural alternative to a root canal or crown in a toddler.

It turns out that it’s a more common problem than you would imagine. The two pediatric dentists that I have spoken with shared with me that they see this problem in approximately one out of five children – albeit not always as early as fourteen months of age, which is where our story begins.

Chipped front tooth - December 2013.

It all started with a chip. I noticed one day – around Christmas last year, when she was eleven months old – that Addie had a little chunk missing out of one of her top front teeth. I hadn’t observed her running into anything or falling down, but my house is wild. There’s always running and shrieking and general chaos with two toddlers in the house. I figured it was well within the realm of possibility that she could have chipped her tooth, and thought no more of it.

If you have ever had a toddler, you may be able to appreciate the fact that it’s not exactly easy to look at your baby’s teeth. Toddlers are not usually excessively compliant when asked to open their mouths to let their parents view their pearly whites. I considered it success if I could just get a toothbrush in her mouth, whether I could actually see the teeth or not.

Broken lateral incisor - February 2014.

But two months later, when I caught a glimpse of what looked like a broken lateral incisor beside the chipped front tooth, I pried her mouth open amidst great protest to get a better look. And I was horrified. Not only was almost half of that tooth gone, but the chip in the center was larger and there was yellow decay up around her gum line on all four of her top front teeth. Nothing else seemed to be affected, but this was an extremely huge problem. I was shocked and appalled, and in complete disbelief. We may not have brushed her teeth every night since she popped her first tooth, but I think anyone with two kids under age three who manages to get every single thing done every single night at bedtime is a magician – or liar.

Forgive the filthy mirror. Appreciate the cute, chubby baby.

I immediately started researching tooth decay in babies. I emailed another (formerly local) blogger, Anjanette from Raising the Barrs, whose daughter had gone through a similar ordeal. I made an appointment with a highly recommended pediatric dentist. I found that Early Childhood Caries is a growing problem. Apparently more and more toddlers are beginning to have teeth just rot out of their mouths. I went to the dental appointment with great trepidation, fearing the worst.

And, as far as I was concerned, my fears were confirmed. I was told that Addie was “just unlucky” – but that the primary cause for this was my allowing her to breastfeed at night. Their recommendation was to immediately schedule a surgery to file down the four affected teeth to remove the decay, then place caps (crowns) over them for the remainder of her baby-tooth years.

I’m a huge breastfeeding advocate. Addie has co-slept almost since birth to allow both of us more adequate rest. There are multiple reasons to breastfeed during the night and I was not willing to accept that by meeting my child's need for comfort and nourishment, I was destroying her teeth. And the thought of putting her under general anesthesia for a surgical procedure at fourteen months old made me sick to my stomach. I started doing more research. I asked friends for help.

March 2014.

I've learned so much about the causes of tooth decay that it necessitates a post all its own, but here's the gist. Tooth decay is not so much caused by having breastmilk on a child's teeth at night as it is by the overall health of a body. And a lot of bodies are severely deficient in crucial vitamins like A, D, and K. When these run out and the body has an oversupply of phytic acid (found in grains and legumes), one of the first signs is a loss of enamel - which leads to the teeth being susceptible to decay. There is also some evidence that her lip tie could have contributed to the problem. I have known since birth that she had a lip tie, but never had it corrected because unlike Lincoln - who had a very difficult start to breastfeeding - she nursed just fine.

I found several stories online about people who effectively halted the tooth decay in their children (and themselves) by following the Weston A. Price diet, drinking raw milk, and adding supplements such as fermented cod liver oil and high vitamin butter oil to the diet. The most widely referenced resource on the subject of tooth decay is the book Cure Tooth Decay by Ramiel Nagel. I started reading this book and tried to implement all that I could.

Dentist appointment with Doc and Lambie.

My plan for Addie's teeth was to heal them and to avoid the surgery. Immediately, I ordered fermented cod liver oil and started giving her BioDent, a supplement from Standard Process. I wiped down her teeth any time food or breastmilk touched them. I brushed them fervently, two or three times a day. She never really ate many processed foods to begin with, but I cut out all crackers and sugar from her diet. When the cod liver oil arrived, she took it willingly - but the liquid form I gave her left her mouth and lips bright red immediately upon touching her. Worried about a possible shellfish allergy, I ceased giving it to her directly and instead took many doses myself, hoping some of the vitamin content would reach her via breastmilk.

This process went on for about two months. I took photos of her teeth as I was able, to document whether or not we were making any progress. For several weeks, I thought that her teeth looked better. The amount of decay around her gum line was reduced and the chips were not increasing. I had great hope. Until one day, when she fell and must have knocked a tooth against something - because the lateral incisor that had been partly missing was now broken off completely at the gum, with a jagged edge protruding into her mouth.

Lateral incisor broken at the gum line - May 2014.

I was devastated. Since her adult teeth will not be growing in for at least five to seven more years, as soon as the tooth at the gum was broken, I knew in my heart that we would need to schedule the surgery. Kids need their baby teeth to form good eating habits, to hold the space in their mouth as adult teeth grow in, and to foster language development. As we were now looking at needing to have the broken tooth extracted (something that would need to be done under general anesthesia due to her age), it was not reasonable to skip having the other teeth fixed. The expense and ordeal of the surgery was not something I wanted to repeat if her other three teeth did not heal.

One of the options for capping her teeth. This was a decision I could not even
wrap my brain around. You're not supposed to have to think about things like this!

So, a few weeks later, we waited anxiously as our baby underwent surgery to extract the broken tooth and cap the other three. The dentist also found some small cavities in her molars that were filled while she was out. She bounced back quickly - after a few hours and a nap, she thankfully had no lasting effects from the anesthesia and never even needed any pain medication once we were home.

Surgery prep. May 2014.

It was not the solution that I wanted, but I have been a lot less stressed since having the procedure done. I do feel that this whole ordeal has been life-changing for our family. I never expected to deal with having dental issues in baby teeth. But since this post is already 1200 words long, I will save my thoughts on how this has changed our life for another time.

Post-surgery nap. May 2014.

The point of this very, very long post is this. Sometimes, even if you're not doing anything wrong, terrible things can happen to your kid. Throughout this ordeal, I have cried so many tears - feeling insufficient, blaming myself, wishing I had noticed sooner so that I could have had a better chance at healing her teeth naturally before having to resort to a surgical procedure. And while I still wish we had had a different turnout, I'm grateful for the knowledge I have gained about our teeth and the way our bodies work. It has changed my approach to nutrition and I think we will be better off as a family because of it. I have to find a bright side somewhere, right?

Extracted lateral incisor (left) and three capped teeth.

Have you ever heard of healing tooth decay? What do you think about this natural alternative to dental fillings and replacements?

If you are looking for more resources about healing teeth, be sure to follow my Curing Tooth Decay Pinterest board - I'll add more to it as I find new research.